Strength Through Absurdity.

I wonder.....

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 14:43:47 GMT

I've realised that this 2 and a half years in Norfolk is the longest that I've stayed anywhere without moving house.

And I can't wait to leave this county for many many many reasons, and dazzle myself in the bright lights of Peterborough. (Peter Vagas as I'm calling is for now, Peter Bosnia as called by the people who live there already.)

We are going to be there for a couple of years as Stu's contracted to the ambulance service, but I wonder how long we'll stay in that first house? I wonder how long we'll stay in Peterborough?

Above all I wonder if I will ever find a place where I say "I really like it here."

Mini Update.

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 20:06:24 GMT

We had Stu's 30th Birthday and Leaving the Army Party the other week.

Not too many people came but it was fun none the less and we all got very drunk. He had a good time.

He's now technically unemployed which he's not very happy about but as soon as his CRB check [they contact all the police forces in all the areas he's ever lived in to see if he's likely to molest children or rape people] comes through, he can go and work for the ambulance service.

What with all the new teachers and everything that need to start work at this time of year, I imagine there is a bit of a backlog but it should come through soon. I hope so.

We still don't know when we'll be able to move house either.

We now need my aunty to be our guarantor. But because she is up north it has to be done by post and there has to be a 7 day cooling off period AFTER she fills it in, before they'll give us the house. GAH.

Why is it so hard to give someone some money?

It should be a couple more weeks at most though.

So now we are going into over drive on sorting out the house. We figure out that if we pick up EVERY SINGLE object in the house then we can easily decide if we actually want it, or if it's just gathering dust.

Sounds silly but we discovered we have 4 pan lids with no pans to go with them, and we found things in cupboards we didn't even know were there.

I'm hoping that doing all this now will give us chance to get rid of things in a nice way rather than just dumping it all in a panic at the last minute.... and when it comes to packing we'll know EVERYTHING can just be collapsed straight into a big box and go to a set room in the new house and come straight out again.

The local charity shops are doing rather well out of it all, as is the local free cycle network.

Plus it's progress, without which, I think our mental state would be a lot lot worse.

Oh Dear.....

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 09:06:45 GMT

I've had a lovely weekend and will update about that later but first I must just point out that I am sat in a radio station on my own.

Sales and everyone else, including the 2 journalists I'm covering for, have gone off to Alton Towers. We're taking our shows from London at this time of day but still.... So if something explodes and we go off air, I am entirely screwed.

My handover from last night said there had been a person hit by a train. No biggy, people throw themselves in front of trains all the time. This morning, it turns out that it's a 2 year old boy.

Sky news have just rang asking to steal any audio I get on it... so it looks like I'm off to deal with that.

Short version:
I am not at Alton Towers. I do not like dealing with dead children.

Hair...

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 18:49:15 GMT

I may or may not be a ginger ninja.

They aren't freckles, they're kisses from an angel.

Ginger power!!

Housing search and other things...

Sun, 23 Aug 2009 19:27:57 GMT

Well what's been happening?

We didn't get that house we wanted. Another couple got their application in before ours and so they got the house.

BUT the estate agent did give us a tip off about a house that had JUST come up for rental and today we went and had a look. It's SO much nicer!!! Which re-enforces my "things happen for a reason" philosophy about not getting things I want.

We had all our forms filled out and everything in order from the last house so we went to the estate agent and posted it all through their letter box there and then. I'll ring up first thing in the morning to check it's got to the right person and then hopefully things should run smoothly.

The reference checking usually takes about a week apparently so fingers crossed we should be able to move in some time before the end of the first week in September.

The landlord is in the process of moving out of the house so he showed us round and mentioned he has no where in his new place to put his pool table. We said we'd be fine "storing" it for him. The garden is nice too so we should have a nice vegetable plot up and going and there's a flower bed and little arch so I'm going to plant roses and honey suckle.

EEP!!

In other news I popped up to the Edinburgh festival for a few days to visit my friend who's working there and I realised how much I missed it. I'm definitely not going to Iraq or moving house next summer so I am going to get my crap in order and get a job sorted so I can go up for the whole month.

That's about it to be honest.

Oh and I gave away my old sofa for free on the internet. I had several people want it and gave it to the woman who said "my sofa at the moment was a gift from my mother in law. Every week she comes round and turns the cushions and tells me I'm not looking after it and she regrets giving it to me. I want any old sofa so I can take hers back and tell her to shove it up her arse."

Shooting Stars!

Thu, 13 Aug 2009 18:02:25 GMT

Last night was the best night of the year for seeing shooting stars.

And it coincided with a camping trip we've been planning to take with some friends of ours so we headed over to a campsite right on the east coast.

I haven't done much exploring over that way as it's a long drive, but we stayed on this farmers field just next to the huge sand dunes that stop Norfolk from disappearing under the sea.

The sand is soft and white and since there is nothing out to sea except a few oil and gas platforms / Norway, there is no litter and not even any drift wood.

We were also allowed to light fires so we lay on our backs and watched the stars.

It was great to get away and so today you are officially all invited to join us on a beach in Norfolk for next years Perseid Meteor Shower, plus much drinking and playing in the sea. Bring a tent, some booze and something to wear when you play in the waves.

I want a house.

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 13:39:33 GMT

I have been packing up and getting ready to move house recently. We don't have anywhere to move TO just yet but the thought of getting out of this depressing place is reason enough to go through old paper work and start selling old furniture.

I am determined that everything that comes to the new house will be stuff I:
1. Like
2. Have a place for it to go
3. Will be nice.

I've also discovered that if you do searches for antique furniture on ebay and search within a 50 mile radius, you can get absolute bargains on stuff that's marked pick up only.

The new house will get a new sofa and new Ikea bookshelves, and the rest will be lovely old stuff.

We've also been talking a lot more about buying a place. Stu will be in Cambridge for 2 years plus so he can get his paramedic qualification. If I get a job nearby then that time will extend for as long as we are both happy. So that's time enough to buy a place.

Stu is slowly coming round to the idea of buying a run down old building and doing a lot of work on it. If we can buy somewhere that the developers know is going to be a LONG haul job then they will not bother with it. You have to be in an out within a year to make cash on a house, otherwise the mortgage interest payments make it not worth your while.

When we were in Wales we went to the Centre for Alternative Energy (www.cat.org.uk) where you get to play with wind turbines and make wave power. It's been going for about 30 years and has experimented with just about everything on the market that creates electricity.

They had one little INCREDIBLY simple display that had a white bit of wood, a black bit of wood, a black bit of wood over insulation, and a black bit of wood over insulation under glass.

You could feel how, even on a wet grey Welsh day, each one was warmer than the last. Then you looked up to see an old radiator from someone's house, with glass over it, and could run water out of it to see how warm it was.

I have to say, I was shocked at how hot the water was on a rainy day.

So if you have a house I fully recommend looking into solar water heaters for your roof. It's though they pay for themselves in 7 years, and that's not including the value they add to the house, or if bills go up.

If we can get a little house with a solar water heater, and a wood burner, then I think we will be very happy.

Good News

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 15:32:21 GMT

I appreciate I have been rubbish at commenting and replying to comments recently. But I am lurking vaguely.

Well today Stu passed the assessment and so if you come to Cambridgeshire and need to dial 999 he may just turn up and make you better, or at the very least drive you to hospital very very fast.

We are now officially moving to Peterborough.

I have got rather excited and been looking at all the local groups listed on the City Council website. I can do Ballet, and Yoga, and Climbing, and lots of stuff.

I haven't found a writers group yet and I have a feeling that it won't be as good as the one I am in now, but we shall see.

I'm so happy because just about everything has been waiting for this day. Now all we need is a contract on paper and we can start looking at houses.

I'm all super motivated to clear this house now. Everything in the kitchen will come with us, but most of the living room furniture will go and we have a fair bit of sorting out in the rest of the house too.

I'M SO EXCITED!!!

Swine Flu?..... Apocolypse!

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 21:14:36 GMT

Not being funny or anything, but is it coincidence that Swine Flu starts killing people:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/8137115.stm

And the Monkeys are all trying to escape:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/8136368.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/8135148.stm

This is exactly the kind of thing they teach you to watch out for at the start of the Zombie Apocalypse.

If I see one mutilated body being investigated in the news then I am heading for the hills!!

NB. I know it's in poor taste to take the mick out of dead children, but they are not Michael Jackson so apparently no one is going to care.

I Vant Your Bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuud!

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 14:13:20 GMT

Today I realised it's coming up to a YEAR since I gave blood last.

That's bad.

It would be miles easier if I could give locally but they are always in my local town on the ONE DAY in the week that I can't make it, and although we have a blood mobile that comes to the village, it's always booked up several weeks in advance so I can't use it.

I also have been injected with Typhoid and Hepititis A in the last year and been to a place that had a malaria risk quite recently, but I think I can still give ok.

I think that this time they send me a shiny blue card rather than a bog standard red one as a present for being so good.

There is a session on the 12th June in town, but I'll be in Scotland so can't go!

And the next one after that is in JULY.

Argh!

This is a degu...

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 11:36:50 GMT

I love it when my 2 chatter to each other and have arguments.

Sorry I haven't been replying to comments very well. I haven't forgotten, I'm just being a bit useless.

Update soon though... I have a job interview! But can't jinx it by talking about it, so you have to pretend I said nothing and if I don't update about it then you must never mention it again.

Religion

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 11:59:15 GMT

I've been having a think about that big old Religion question recently.

What do I believe? By thinking that I am right about it, does that not make me extremely arrogant? Who am I to say I'm right when much cleverer people than me have put far more study and thought into it than me.

And can the human brain even comprehend life the universe and everything?

First: Disclaimer:

I am all for people having faith and belief and if it gets them through life and helps them and makes them happy then they can worship frogs for all I care.
I have people of various faiths on my friends list and you all work in your own way and you are all great and lovely people. I'm hoping some of you will comment and give me things to think about after this. And By faith I totally include Atheists as well. You have faith in science and logic and I think that has to be taken as a belief in its own right when it comes to the REALLY big stuff. Obviously we all believe in anti-biotics and the circulatory system.

[Unknown LJ tag]

Next: I was brought up Church of England.

This was the chilled out version of Christianity that allowed the King to be all powerful as head of the Church, but also was designed to be forward thinking in that it allowed divorce. (Ok at the time it meant divorce as in "trading in your boring older wife for a pretty younger model" but still, I know we are all far happier not being tied to a person for life even if they turn out to be lying violent scumbags.) I liked the Church of England in that it was pretty much a live and let live and just come hang out here on a Sunday if you fancy it kind of church. But over the last few hundred years, it's got more and more entrenched in the ways of the older more judgemental churches. One Bishop recently said that floods across England were God's judgement for legalising gay marriage. I realise that many vicars are fab and get that the church needs to carry on with it's original function of staying modern, but others do not and that is what puts me off it.

The vicar that married my sister in law to her husband was REALLY pushing her to say "honour and obey" in her vows.... Eh??? I made damn sure that I promised to honour and respect, never obey. That would have lasted about 5 minutes and then our marriage would have technically been voided.

The Old Testament:

I'm not a big fan to be honest. It makes a lot of sense if you read it in a historical context. Genesis roughly makes sense (correct me on this you science types) first came the light (big bang) then the land, then the creatures that crawl on the sea, and then the land and blah blah blah, finally comes man.

The laws and rules also make sense if you take them in the context of advice to run a tribe in the middle of the desert 2000 years ago. They may not be right, but they work as a rough guide if you use them right. Eg, women on their period must be sent off to deal with it outside the city walls for a week. Brilliant, no cooking or cleaning or babysitting for a week for her, just her and her close girlfriends who are on at the same time having a bit of a laugh. Eg2. Don't pick up sticks on a Sunday - everyone in the group gets a day off one day a week.
Yes some of them are rubbish, but as I say, they are 2000 years old and must be treated as such.

So Yeah: Jesus.

I honestly think I would have got on well with Jesus.
[I'm accepting that there is enough historical evidence that he existed, whether he was the son of a God is another matter, so we'll take that with a pinch of salt.]
He hated organised religion, he hung out in the rough end of town, he knew that he had the power of GOD ALMIGHTY within him and used it to get a Bride drunk out of her mind at her wedding.

But then there is: Science.

Science is awesome. But we have to separate the science of inventing iPods and cures for Man-Flu, from the science that is basically theories of everything.

I believe firmly in science. I think Stephen Hawkings and the Hadron Collider could provide us with some answers that will explain a lot of the great unsolved mysteries. But will they ever prove beyond doubt that nothing you do in life will ever make a difference in the grand scheme of things? That it really is just survival of the fittest as we should just kick people in the head that get in our way?

</lj>

So what is my theory on life... well I hate to disappoint you but I don't actually know.

I take my phillosophy from my all time favourite religious film though:

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

The 2 Commandments I will always try and live by are:

1. Party On Dudes!!
Always make the most of what life has to offer.

2. Be Excellent to One Another!
This covers everything from murder, theft and global warming, to littering and indicating to change lanes on motorways.

AIR GUITAR!!!

Stop all the clocks...

Sat, 11 Apr 2009 10:40:07 GMT

As some of you may know, I am an agony aunt on a problem page style website.

Now I know we have a global recession going on and having a read of Amnesty International's website, one might even think that some not very nice stuff was going down in the world but this problem from a 14 year old girl puts it all in perspective for me:

H1 i'm 14 and i have a boy friend and he has been busy for like at least a week for his basket ball thingymajig so i haven't talk to him in a while and his friend his best budd "J" has liked me for a while and has not told no on but he finally told me that he likes me and i like kind of like him a little to we have so much in common but i have a boyfriend that i really like so its hard for me to pick but my boyfriend doesn't know this issue!

HE'S BEEN BUSY FOR A WEEK!!!! What kind of evil minded misogynist arsehole is he???

We have degus!

Sun, 05 Apr 2009 16:55:41 GMT

Don't ask me how it happened. It just did, this afternoon while trying to buy peanuts and plant pots.

Anyway, since they are the last major purchase using army paycheques and they will be with us for the next 8 years, we decided to name them after something that would symbolise this past few years of our lives.

So we now have Euphrates and Tigris.

They are cute and I will update with a photo as soon as I get one.

Yey Degus!

I know I don't do these things but....

Sat, 28 Mar 2009 09:11:02 GMT

Is it wrong that I'm quite proud to have a seduction style that's a bit too evil for them to feel good about?

You've got to have dark or you can't have light.

And I do want a puppy...

A thought that I blatently stole from nytoljunkie

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 10:49:49 GMT

The lovely Selly was talking about the person she was in her teens.

And it just spoke to me.

Who was I back then and what would she think of me now? Am I still there?

I look back at my teens and remember the bad stuff. I get taken back there by all the crap pop music that was on the radio at the time and I remember how much I felt a complete freak back then, not cool, not part of any culture, not part of anything. I thought I was one of nature's oddities back then but in the worst possible way.

Unfortunately all those songs have now reappeared on the playlists of the stations I work at now. My age group has become an advertising target group, and they want to remind us all all the great tunes we had during our happy school days so we'll go out and buy a new kitchen.

I hear them and remember crying myself to sleep at night.

But, the point that Selly made was that there was good stuff about me in my teenage years. I grew, I figured out who I would like to be. I found peace with certain things and although the scars have faded almost completely now, I still remember finding myself completely and knowing who I truly was through pain and alcohol and misadventure.

Yes it was clouded by a fog of what is now known as Emo hormones and I was a bit pathetic and cliched but deep down I was me. I was a little girl becoming a woman and picking the path I wanted to follow, finding my feet in the world.

And through all the alienation I was able to sit in a corner under my oversized school uniform hidden away under my greasy hair and watch everyone else having fun, and I was able to observe their behaviour and figure it out. I felt like a scientist observing wild animals. I learned but was never able to imitate it well enough to be accepted into the tribe, it's still a second language to this day.

But although I know all the sadness and anger is still inside me, is the passion and longing, and creativity, and ME.... Am I still there?

I look in the mirror and I think I would be happy with what I've become. I now have to power to dress as I want but I do wear the more conservative stuff. Is that because it's what I'm used to after all this time? Is it because I work? Is it because I am lazy? I have been trying to let that side of me out again more recently.

So I think every now and then I am going to have a teenager day. I'm going to put on dark red lipstick and eyeliner and go into Norwich to pick up all the bits I needed to pick up today and then go to Morrisons on the way home.

It's a bit windy for the short skirt but next time.

Have a teenager day.

What would you wear?

Mothers Day...

Sun, 22 Mar 2009 11:11:58 GMT

I was going to post a big rant about Mother's day and my Mother and why she was quite shocked when she thought she might have put me off raising children...

But some one KINDLY texted me to tell me Jade Goody was dead first thing this morning.

Despite me talking about my feelings on this subject and assuming that this person knew me in some way since she is allegedly my friend, she followed up my reply with "Sorry. LOL!" and I realise she is only my friend because I do not have any others. I don't actually have anything in common with her and I don't even go out to meet her for coffee thinking "Oh good, I'm going to have a good time today."

So, I have realised that she falls into the category of most of my Darlington friends. We hang out because we are both there, and have no one else.

So now I am annoyed.

Annoyed with the whole Jade thing, and annoyed that I am going to lose a friend, because she was never really my friend to start with.

My mum is in Wales and didn't bother telling me so I'm not going to call her anyway.

Stupid Emily With Stupid Dream Attention Span....

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 21:45:30 GMT

I dreamt last night that I really wanted a Chocolate Orange. This is not unusual. I love them and can happily eat a whole one - even though there is about 300000000 calories in them.

However in my dream I suddenly remembered that there WAS half a chocolate orange hidden under my bed and I was really happy. But then I got distracted and then woke up.

I COULD HAVE EATEN A CALORIE FREE CHOCOLATE ORANGE AND REMEMBERED THE TASTE AND BEEN SATISFIED WITH THAT AND I GOT DISTRACTED!!

Arrrrrrrrrgh!

Now I still want one, but if I eat one in real life, it will make me fat. If I'd eaten the stupid one in the stupid dream I'd have woken up and been happy with my salad.

There are no words.

Geeky Entry

Sun, 22 Feb 2009 21:22:53 GMT

I'll always be a Nintendo Bunny, but the graphics for some of the new games on the Xbox360 are fucking sexy. I am a bit turned on.

I'm off to the parents for a few days so expect me to regress to being 15 in my little room. I may post 1am updates about how no boy will ever love me and I hate everything and the darkness of my soul is an infinite cliche.

The next weekend I am meeting the SUZmeister in London Town which should be awesome.

How are you?

I have decided...

Tue, 03 Feb 2009 16:41:21 GMT

Sometimes I wish I could be a sheep. That I could be satisfied and enthralled by such wonders as X-Factor, Football, and Children.

I wish I could just blend in and my only wish for the year would be to get a new carpet and to go on holiday to Malaga. That I could listen to the music they play on the radio stations I work at and say "Oh I love this song!" That I could update on facebook without all my neighbours commenting "Lol! u nutter!" and being utterly confused by it all.

But then I remember that all the best people I meet, all my close friends, all the coolest, most kind, creative and intelligent people, are not sheep.

I remember that where I really fit in is with all the odd balls, and we are all odd together and celebrate the Great Oddness.

Here's to all the Odd people out there, and this means most of you on my friends list. You are all odd, you are just like, and nothing like, me and I love you all.

Continue being odd and never change.

Hahahaha

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 11:47:01 GMT

Just looked out of my window to discover what amazing gritting technology the Modern British Army, the best in the world, has:

A Landrover, pulling a small trailer full of salt very slowly, followed by some very bored and cold looking young lads with trowels.

Awww, they look so sad. They didn't say anything about this on the big flashy recruitment advert did they???

Writing and Stuff

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 15:09:55 GMT

Well I have been plodding on with my new Hard Disk and I'm just starting to realise that I really have lost a lot of things I have written.

All the short stories and the little bits and bobs of ideas that I started.

Worse still I have lost a good chapter and a half of my novel. The fist 2 are still safe as I can get them from sent emails.

However, I had come to a plot point in the middle of chapter 4 that had formed quite a big barrier. However I wrote it, it still came out like a rejected Disney happy ending made entirely of vomit. SO being forced to go back to the end of chapter 2 and scrap everything that builds up to that point may allow me to come up with some thing much better.

This is the one thought that might get me over the fact that I've lost a lot of thoughts and notes and rough drafts of later stuff.

We shall see. Now I just need a bit of time and a big bit of paper to get different plot thoughts doodled out with big arrows linking everything and scribble and draw little stars and crap.

Stu and I sat in the a bar here in Liverpool the other day and I read my book and he read his magazine and we just chilled out with a hot chocolate and some great music and relaxed for a little while. It was great. I think I need to just find a little cafe somewhere, settle in with a pot of tea and my notes and set up the lap top and type like a monster.

I just really need to give my self permission to go out and leave all the other jobs and do this.

BBC vs DEC Gaza appeal.

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 11:45:16 GMT

Right, as you may or may not know, the Disasters Emergency Committee in the UK (who forms a big umbrella appeal system and then splits money raised between the likes of the Red Cross and Oxfam etc) has just started their big push to raise cash for the latest disaster: Gaza.

I'm not going to get into the rights and wrongs of who bombed who and why, but basically there were a lot of big nasty explosives dropped on that area and as a consequence there are a lot of dead and injured people wandering about with no water, medical supplies, or way to stop rotting bodies from spreading disease.

The BBC and Sky News have now said that they will not broadcast this appeal because they believe it will affect their impartiality. This, in my view, is fair enough and is their decision to make. There are far more ways to spread an appeal than just showing it on the BBC.

I would like to watch it though and have been looking for this bloody appeal to see if, in my view as a journalist, it is biased enough to warrant all this fuss. I was hoping to see if it's the nature of the appeal rather than the fact that it exists.

It's not easily findable on youtube. It's not on the DEC website!

I cannot believe that in this day and age, the BBC is the main method of delivery for the DEC. Are the only people that donate all in their 60's?

The Beeb aren't going to broadcast it and that is their right to decide. (Although the appeal IS getting a lot more publicity this way.)
But why isn't the appeal all over the internet? Why is it not on the DEC website? The only thing on the DEC website is the congo appeal from last year and that's only there so they can bitch about the BBC.

Am I missing the point? Or should that donation number be all over posters, the internet, newspapers, radio etc etc etc. Why are they waiting for this row to die down first? Or are the people in Gaza just sat there fine and dandy and they don't mind waiting?

The DEC is welcome to bitch at broadcasters, and the church and MPs can shout all they want about it. But if you get wrapped up in that argument rather than getting on and, you know, APPEALING FOR MONEY then you are a bit redundant in my view.

Extra Resolution

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 10:17:48 GMT

Last year, weekends were as silent as the grave and just as boring.

So this year I am determined to do fun things on the weekends.

I have discovered that on my local gumtree.com there are people REGULARLY selling train tickets from Norwich to London for very little money since they are only valid for a month if you don't use them.

I have a friend living in London, and my other friend has now moved to Leamington Spa which is not too far away. Plus I have (through the wonder of facebook) found a couple of school friends living down there so my mission is to meet up with them all before I move house to Aberdeen / Manchester.

Woo! Go Weekends! x

RIP Lovely Trainers

Sun, 04 Jan 2009 20:04:40 GMT

My trainers have finally died.

I am sad.

In truth I think they died some time ago when they started letting in water and I became ashamed to take them off in shoe shops.

But the other day I bought new trainers so it's time for the old ones to go in the bin.

They've been with me to many exciting places, jumped off buildings with me, and walked probably hundreds of miles.

I thought I would document their sad demise with photos to show you all that I am doing the right thing in finally binning them.